marinara

1. Onions, chopped, as many as you can before your eyes sting.

Caramelized this time, not burnt, in approx. too much olive oil.

2. Garlic? A couple cloves, I think,

but add a few tablespoons of garlic powder for good measure.

3. Basil, oregano, pepper, salt,

and delusions of culinary grandeur as you dash them in.

4.Canned tomatoes, because you couldn't get fresh ones

use honey to sweeten, because you can't find the sugar,

glaze with balsamic vinegar, because you can't buy booze, yet

5. let simmer and make frantic phone call to your mother in California,

saying, “Fix it, please.”